| confessional |
[10 Oct 2012|09:29pm] |
say something.
share a thought.
share a message.
spill your guts.
tell me something beautiful.
tell me something ugly.
tell me something you've always wanted to say to me.
expose a burning secret.
cut me with an awful truth if you want.
criticize me if you want.
tell me anything.
i mean anything.
i'm looking for raw honesty and exposure.
get it off your chest.
i'm looking for the meat and potatoes here people.
you can post anonymously if you like.
no comment is too short, or too long.
i encourage everyone to participate.
all comments will be screened.
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[07 Feb 2010|07:02pm] |
there was a joke i used to use in my stand-up act.
one where i'd say, "i know what you're thinking, there's one hot ass woman, but you would be wrong, i'm really just a 16 year old boy named timmy. i just got in touch with my inner angry black woman."
then i'd go on a rant about being an angry woman.
these days, and especially right about now, i just feel like a 16 year old boy.
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| usually sometimes |
[04 Feb 2010|03:58pm] |
customer - (bubbly and "all-american"in her spendy sports gear and ponytail) hiiii, i want a sandwich.
me - (prickly and foul-tempered, but in a startlingly good mood) ok, what kind if sandwich?
customer - oh gee, i don't know you had this one sandwich i was looking for...
(customer trails off and stares just above my head to the menu, i wait)
customer - i don't know it's like a hummus sandwich.
me - do you want the hummus sandwich? (the hummus sandwich is clearly listed on the menu)
customer - yeah, ok, i'll get the hummus, avocado, sprout and tomato sandwich.
me - would you like soup, green salad, or potato chips with that?
customer - what comes on that?
me - *blank stare*
customer - because... can i get it with gruyere cheese?
me - we don't have gruyere cheese, but i can give you provolone.
customer - (pouty face) oh, on the hummus sandwich you guys usually sometimes put like, some kind of cheese on top of the sandwich (nose wrinkled in a shirley temple kind of way) like... sprinkled on it.
(at this point i'm bursting with the urge to ask, "which is it? 'usually' or 'sometimes'? both at the same time would generate a quandary that might rip the very fabric of existence apart, negate one another into 'always' or 'never' or, well, just be stupid. and while i'm at it, Woman I've Never Seen Before, do you think your attempt to confuse me with your 'usually sometimes' in regards to a menu which i, the person who gets up at 5am everyday to sell stuff from said menu, the all-seeing knower of this be-damned menu backwards and forwards, will somehow, miraculously slap my forehead and exclaim, 'oh yes! we DO put friggin' frackin' gruyere cheese kinda sprinkled on that sandwich! silly me to forget!'?")
me - *blank stare* well, actually, that one wouldn't have cheese, because it's a vegan sandwich, but we can add some if you like.
customer - (shifty, and childlike) can i get it with parmesan?
me - of course.
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| advice from a crazy person: 2010-02-03 |
[03 Feb 2010|05:42pm] |
as i lay in my sick-bed, strangely lonely, nauseous from the antibiotics, and 2+ days with little to no food, i found myself thinking. i really only share my experiences nowadays when i am horribly ill, or otherwise emotionally compromised. because there is a lack of things of note to report, and i am loathe to scratch and pick at the banal details of life as a cashier in an effort to dribble words off my chin, just to get the handi-wipe treatment.
this is a symptom of a lack of momentum.
so i had a thought.
and i decided to share it:
-make a list of all the things you've ever said or dreamed of doing.
-check off the ones you've done, and reflect on what you gained from the experience.
-for the things you have not done, write down the reasons you have not done them.
-ask yourself if these things preventing you from the Thing You Want To Do are insurmountable.
-ask yourself why.
-morality? law? funding? previous commitments? laziness? hesitation? doubt? fear? etc.
-realize that excluding the suffering or careless treatment of others in your journey, that you can do anything.
-if the things preventing your from achieving the Thing You Want To Do can be surpassed (and they can)...
DO WHAT IT TAKES TO MOVE THEM OUT OF YOUR WAY
AND DO IT
living a life of hesitation only wastes time, and reaps regret.
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| at least i got some fun time first... |
[01 Feb 2010|02:43pm] |
had a spectacular evening with a lovely lady.
spent the following day having breakfast, running some errands, and hanging out to watch "black books" and "doctor horrible".
went home with my man-creature, feeling exhausted.
fell asleep before we could put on "labyrinth".
woke up with searing pain in my sinuses, and my right ear canal.
as the day progressed, my right tonsil swelled up a great deal, and sore glands developed.
i laid low all day, hoping for the best.
told my boss i'd be out of work today as i need to see a doctor.
woke today to discover my soft palette, both tonsils, and my uvula swollen to the point that it's hanging down the back of my throat.
i can't swallow anything, and my sinuses are draining in a shade that they should never drain.
i am deeply alarmed.
off to the hospital.
THE VERDICT:
strep throat.
antibiotics, bed rest, and no contact with the public for two days, so i can't work.
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[28 Jan 2010|03:27pm] |
seems my greatest talent is generating new and exciting (read: lame) ways to get people to shun me.
huzzah!
i need a cape.
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| choking hazard |
[26 Jan 2010|08:52pm] |
at some point something happened
and i stopped breathing
i stopped writing
i stopped making
i stopped pushing
the futile thrusts against the door ceased
i must've fallen asleep
or started drowning
because
what was once a world viewed from the surface of an endless sea
has been swallowed
by a black ocean
and now
all that can be seen
is the depth below.
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| picture time |
[09 Jan 2010|05:10pm] |
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anyone know any male ballet or otherwise classically trained dancers that don't mind posing nude for high fashion photography?
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[04 Jan 2010|08:40pm] |
erykah badu remains a style icon for me.
oh, the super short green hair and high collared jacket. <3 it.
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[04 Jan 2010|01:56pm] |
does anyone know someone(s) who work for yelp?
i hate using this journal as a means to ask questions / look for information... but, whatever.
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| computer issue |
[02 Jan 2010|11:52am] |
riddle me this, internet:
how do saved text files in my hard drive suddenly wind up with zero bytes of data in them?
last night i discovered several files i'd saved are now blank, for no explicable reason my futile computer knowledge can come up with. some files still contain data, while others are wiped save for the name i saved them under.
has anyone ever encountered phantom loss of data? is it gone forever, or is there a chance of recovering it?
these were Neo Office files, saved as .odt, is it possible i just fucked something up when i was saving them? could the data have been lost one of the many times i had to force quit out of Neo Office? this seems unlikely, since the data was saved.
i'm flummoxed.
enlighten me.
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[31 Dec 2009|03:37pm] |
it wasn't as bad as 2008, i'll give it that.
2009 has been The Year of the Dragging Ass.
nothing really happened, a lot of things started to happen, but nothing really came to fruition. at least not in the way i'd hoped.
i still had some fun though, and some great experiences.
in no particular order i...
-worked on makeup for some photo shoots and fashion shows and short films and a commercial.
-worked in a cafe, and managed to gather some excellently bad yelp reviews.
-spent time with my boyfriend and my awesome roommates.
-kissed the most beautiful girl i've ever met, then i kissed her some more.
-hung out at the armory.
-watched a minor celebrity strip down naked, and then proceed to writhe on a man's lap in a darkened room of a private party.
-drank too much.
-watched a lot of excellently bad movies
-enjoyed having ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) goth_kitty finally back home in california
-skipped burning man
-regretted skipping burning man
-broke my iphone screen
-made friends with the ex of my ex.
-argued with my mother about gay marriage
-performed some mediocre burlesque
-wore a dreadhawk
-touched various parts of my boyfriend's body
-suffered with depression
-left the living dead girlz
-saw amanda palmer's boobs
-voted for obama
-ripped my pants while celebrating obama's election
-cuddled with my cat
-worked two serving jobs at the same time. i made more money than i ever have. i was also more tired and depressed than i had been all year.
-laughed way too hard about a squirrel
-attended some art shows
-toyed with self-portraits
-enjoyed random evenings that were exactly what i want for my adult life all the time
-got a digital camera
-started taking cymbalta
-stopped taking cymbalta when my meds ran out (will start on them again)
-started a (now nearly defunct) fashion blog
-posed for an african-themed photoshoot with fightingwords
-attended my brother's 40th birthday
-posed topless in seattle for a zivity shoot
-dressed as Uhura for halloween
-alienated myself almost entirely from my social circle
-questioned what i was doing with my life more than i actually lived it
-did nothing that filled me with dazzling, life-affirming terror
-got spanked with a riding crop at a sex club
-attended a fetish ball
-started writing about a dozen various short stories and screenplays
-neglected coloring my hair on a regular basis
-did stand-up comedy, and people laughed
-attended dinner parties
-tackled some weighty life challenges
-confided in good new/old friends
-got sick more times than i can count
-attended a sleepytime gorilla museum show for the first time
-swooned watching my boyfriend shove people at the above mentioned show. i like scrappy guys.
and much more that i can't recall at the moment
all in all, i let the year slip by me. each day saying, "i'll do it tomorrow." or, "i'll do it later."
thus, even with all of the awesome that i wouldn't trade for the world, i'm still really grateful this year is finally over. may 2010 bring the productivity, passion, and creativity that i am way overdue for. may it also be a stellar one for you as well.
goodbye 2009. goodbye decade. don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
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[27 Dec 2009|10:02pm] |
yes.
xkcd vibrates at the same frequency as my soul.
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| best halloween costumes now best christmas gifts |
[26 Dec 2009|01:41am] |
apparently the Star Trek costumes were a big hit with my man-creature's family. so much so, that his cousin was nice (wonderfully witty) enough to make christmas ornaments of penguins dressed as uhurah and spock for us as gifts.
awesome.
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[26 Dec 2009|01:27am] |
INT. NIGHT, LIVINGROOM
(a family is gathered together on christmas. gifts have been opened, drinks are being sipped. crumpled wrapping paper, and plates dirtied from meals long since consumed are collected off to the side. there is chuckling and chatting bouncing about the room. MOM spreads out an assortment of bootleg DVD's on the coffee table. her kids MARCUS and SHAMIKA roll their eyes at this unsurprising display.)
MOM
i've got 2012, Precious, Drag Me to Hell...
SHAMIKA
i can't believe you're still buying bootleg movies.
MOM
(indignant) listen! i didn't buy these! they were a gift!
MARCUS
BWAHAHAHA!
SHAMIKA
really? who gives a gift of a stack of ghetto bootlegged movies as a christmas presenet? can i kick him in the nuts?
MOM
you know i'm an honest woman! i didn't buy these.
MARCUS
ok, cool. so how's the quality on those movies?
MOM
not so good.... well, Precious is good quality... ok, i bought Precious.
SHAMIKA and MARCUS
(in unison) BWAHAHAHA!
MOM
but there's a story, look, look at this. (holds up DVD with "Precious 2009" written on it in blue sharpie) how much do you think i paid for this?
SHAMIKA and MARCUS
(in unison) five. dollas.
(an epic tale from MOM about an encounter in a Best Buy parking lot with a backpack-toting bootleg DVD salesman, and much laughing follows.)
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[23 Dec 2009|12:25pm] |
Need people with cameras to be paparazzi in zivity t-shirt shoot. 2:45 sharp today in san francisco.
bring a camera with a flash (SLR camera / something that looks like it'll pass as a paparazzi camera).
email me at missmeeks77 at gmail, and i'll send you the address.
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| sometimes, only sometimes, song lyrics are in order |
[21 Dec 2009|10:23pm] |
"You're gonna make me wonder what I'm doing,
Staying far behind without you.
You're gonna make me wonder what I'm saying,
You're gonna make me give myself a good talking to..."
that is all
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| just stop it, betsey |
[11 Dec 2009|01:46pm] |
this is quite possibly the ugliest dress i've ever seen:
http://www.betseyjohnson.com/store/productdetails2.aspx?productid=8082&np=1101
and it's yours for a mere $470. i'm amazed it doesn't come with a gigantic plastic bow for your hair at that price.
go to salvation army, in the gilrs section, this dress is there. your big sister probably lost her virginity in it back in 1984. it's a green tag sale, you can get it for $1, but remember, those sequins are scratchy.
this reign of sugar-coated girl terror being unleashed upon the world has to end.
i'm pretty sure i had a barbie that had a dress like this.
pink. effing. sequins. tulle. sweetheart top. FAIL.
am i the only one completely horrified by this revival in awful 80's fashion?
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