adventures in mediocrity

MIA

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 04:44:41 GMT

it seems i haven't made a proper post since folsome street faire, so lets backtrack a bit, then catch up.

in september i didn't do much outside of redundant cafe work. O and i had a great meal/date night at oola one night though. on this night he discovered a specialty cocktail concocted with equal scotch and bourbon. he's been mixing the two and drinking them straight ever since. i believe my boyfriend is the devil.

i finally got around to heading over to her majesty's secret beekeeper to visit cameo, and to see the mural i posed for with my own two eyes. it is very strange seeing yourself 10 feet tall.

my cat continued to be tremendously cute and annoying.

i got a message from an unlikely person whom was involved in some turmoil i experienced early this year, asking for help. i had a choice between being an immature bitch, or being a good mature person. i chose the latter. for this i am grateful. i've made a shameful amount of mistakes with people, and have generated a million reasons for people to categorize me as a high-risk, unreliable person, but thankfully, i'm actually growing out of it, slowly, but surely. trust that my shame runs deeper than your disappointment.

myself and said person made arrangements to have dinner, and meet proper, and wound up getting along quite well. i got dressed nice for the occasion.

after dinner we went to the DNA and saw psyclon 9. i'd never seen them before, but enjoyed the show. i left before the arson happened as i had work at 5am.

i went and ran some errands with samar, and we stopped into a little ice cream shop where i came across a painting that made me cry. my grandmother loved owls and one if my fondest memories of her was
taking walks with her to the ice cream shop as a small child. she
lived ice cream, and ate it every night before bed. i miss her. this
may wind up being my memorial tattoo for her

stumbled across a set for "trauma" a show destined for cancellation. samar wasn't sure it wasn't an actual accident, but my keen eye summed
it up.

it was the biggest quesadilla, i ever seen. and when they brought the food to our cold, marble table, it looked
like THIS!

i worked on a commercial for SanDisk which made me want to die. i left feeling like i had no business as a MUA, and disappointed that i didn't ask for more money for all i had to do. i'm proud i have the experience under my belt, and eventually (hopefully) good material to put in my reel.

helped samar out with makeup for sigil, but i have no pictures from that. i got to hook her into her rig on stage. she was a rockstar.

O and i attended dinner at latemodel's with kelly. we had stew among other yummies. i had white balsalmic vinegar for the first time. it was good. we like channing and kelly.

obama came to town, and was staying at a hotel near my house. i got yelled at by a cop on my way home because i stopped to look down the empty street.

with halloween approaching, the artists of 1am SF painted a halloween/dia de los muertos mural for the occasion. it was my favorite mural they've done ever ever ever.

went thrifting at goodwill with lady-friend, found the best thing ever
ever ever. yes, it's hand painted.

tonight for dessert i tried the recipe from www.mooflyfood.com for broiled grapefruit with sugar and
sherry. i was hesitant about warm citrus, but this was amazingly good!
thanks moof!!

so that's a quick and dirty summary through notes and pictures.

beyond that, i've been engulfed with my usual introspection, and my on going project towards self improvement. making tiny, tiny steps.

working at the cafe, witness an endless variety of humanity in all of it's stupidity, and occasional awesomeness.

i started writing again, chipping away on something that isn't quite a screenplay, and isn't quite a novel. i'm making plans on several creative projects to benefit myself, and others. others... whodda thunk it?

i miss a lot of people, and am feeling very much the separation that i've created between myself and pretty much the entire world. still working through that. tiny steps.

the past few weeks have also featured fun and shenanigans with a lovely, lovely lady, hand-in-hand with a very awkward situation. that situation, however, will require an entirely different post, or private conversations over bourbon.

with that, i'll end this with the intention to maintain more writings, more observations, and more sharing. ok? ok.

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 07:53:10 GMT

error establishing database connection.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 06:00:52 GMT

and so it goes.

one more loss to add to my list of massive failures.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:28:52 GMT

when you're feeling horrible, what cheers you up?

Uploaded - 11\2\09-60

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 03:45:56 GMT

Uploaded - 11\2\09-60
Originally uploaded by bradisdrab

halloween was a good time.

finally got to realize my dream of dressing up as uhura with a spock in tow.

fun!

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 05:50:13 GMT

i remember a night, years ago.

what was it, 3? 4 years ago?

i was huddled in a small bedroom with padded walls at the cracktory. a raucous party ebbing and flowing and crisping at the edges just beyond the door.

my blood was full of bourbon, face painted with those black bars under my eyes like a linebacker.

with the door closed, sheltered from the music and the rolling cacophony of voices and footsteps muddled into near white noise, we laughed till our bodies ached on the whole.

the conversation had swerved, and the subject of our dreams, our thoughts, our activities came into being.

i spilled my fantasies into the air. words about writing, and stories, and pictures, and humor, and lessons learned.

prattled off about my passion at the time.

i said the words, "i would love to make a [blank], even just once. to do something like that..."

my words trailed off as the images burst in my mind, distant and convincingly unattainable. my heart ached for what it believed it could not become.

a girl/woman/person, one who had been paying deep attention as i spoke, so much attention in fact that it was palpable, sat in the corner on the floor. after my words had diffused into the room, and the tension remained in it's place, she focused her eyes directly into mine. as my thoughts still hung on the impossible, she rolled forward, onto her hands and knees, and crawled, never breaking her stare.

she crawled toward me, and the silence bent and twisted, and lingered forever, and then, just as i was ready to shatter the silence by blurting, "what?" she spoke.

"make one." she said.

deep and direct and clipped and sudden.

like an arrow, she shot the words at me, and they bore their way into my head, right between my eyes.

"make one."

times like these, when i'm thinking my thoughts, the same image comes to mind, just as vividly as it had happened tonight. the confidence, and assertiveness in those words still poke at me.

"make one."

i've resisted those words for years out of fear, out of hesitation, out of uncertainty, yet the words implore me.

"make one."

sooner or later, i will not be able to say no. i hope.

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:00:33 GMT

oh, snailbooty, you never cease to ~~amaze~~ horrify.

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 06:17:23 GMT

i'm suddenly reminded that all the trouble you get yourself into, is trouble you've gotten yourself into.

dammit.

fever ray covering nick cave and anita lane's "stranger than kindness"

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:28:05 GMT

i'm in love with the imagery in ALL of fever ray's videos. IN LOVE.

wine? yosemite?

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:10:56 GMT

i know most of you have day jobs, or aren't morning people, but is anyone interested in going on a wine tour through yosemite Wednesday morning? i'm looking to round up a group to go have a fun day out drinking wine, and omfg, spending TIME together.

message or email me for details missmeeks77 @ gmail

:D

*EDIT*

eep.

looks like the price per person is more spendy than i had anticipated.

it'll be $85 a person... so... yeah. perhaps not...

crack me open

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 03:16:13 GMT

ask me a question, i'll do my best to answer it.

Shamika.Lauren

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 03:57:00 GMT

Shamika.Lauren_O
Originally uploaded by dalidrama

came across a newly edited image from the shoot i did with L a few months back.

giraffes.

thank you, photoshop.

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 20:00:37 GMT

16:31 OMW to bro's 40th birthday dinner in oakland. gift of old fashioned shaving kit, and grecian formula wrapped and ready to go. #
18:10 having dinner with my mother reminds me how i became so neurotic. #
19:41 @cameo both. #
20:38 i feel like going to death guild, but the fact my alarm is set for 4:30am is a strong deterrent. #
07:02 it's so wonderfully dark and rainy out. such awesomely romantic weather. #